How Important Is Communication?

Is communication important in relationships? This week we answered this question.  

If anyone has not heard of or seen the "Love Lab" Videos i highly recommend you go find them, they have changed my opinion greatly. These videos consist of a Doctor who talks to couples about the major "problems" in their marriages. The one that i viewed talked all about the couples finical struggles and how they didn't really listen to each other. It was very insightful

When it comes to communication  i always thought it was something simple and it's just easy. You just talk, that is how you communicate. But when i came to school here i soon realized that we communicate in subtle ways without noticing. I think that communication needs to be a conscious effort on both parties involved. If you care about someone i think that you should and would do everything you can to communicate with them.

We also read a talk by Elder Ballard that i think brought up some good points here is the link: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1993/10/strength-in-counsel?lang=eng 

I will just touch on my favourite parts of the talk.

What he mostly talked about was that the best way to get things done is to counsel together with people and work through issues through talking. This is what we do a lot in the church and i think that when we apply these things to our families, they are only strengthened.

All in all without communicating we wouldn't  get anywhere. So do your best to accurately communicate your true feelings to those you care about. :)

 

When Crisis Hits.

This week in class we have been talking all about Crisis's in the family and how it affects everyone.
What could be seen as the most severe family crisis?

That could be a hard question to answer; every family is different and every experience affects those people in different ways. But there is a list. Here is the top 5
:1) Death of a Child
 2) Death of a spouse/parent 3) Separation of spouse/parent
 4) Physical or sexual violence between family members
 5) family members become physically or chronically ill

These factors would without a doubt affect the family. The family is such a precious thing and i think it is horrible when any of these things happen to any people. But people are able to get through them and you become a stronger family unit than you ever were. I know that crisis is a hard thing to handle; you feel as though your world is falling apart and i can't imagine on top of that having to take care of kids.

My own family hasn't had to many instances where we have had a crisis but i remember a time when i was a child that my Dad was working out in the basement and he ended up dropping a bar on his head and had to go to the hospital to get checked out. I remember just seeing him leave the house all bloody and in my child mind i was afraid he would never come back. I think events like these shape who are as a family and individuals.

Although i know these experiences are no fun to go through, i think without them the family wouldn't be as strong as it possibly could be. I know that loosing a child or a spouse would be one of the hardest things to ever go through, but i think ultimately through the lord their is nothing that we cannot do.

I am so grateful for may family and for our ability to rise above and challenges and i hope to do the same with my future family.

Lets Talk About Sex

Sex..... such a taboo word in this culture.

what is wrong with sex? absolutely nothing. In the right context and with the right person**

We have been taught from early ages that sex is bad and dirty... is it? Would God have given us this if it was so? No.

It is not bad, or dirty. It is a healthy expression of love and appreciation for your spouse. And that is just where it should be done. In marriage where you have that commitment and love for each other.

Now i have always thought of sex, as making love. I prefer that term so much more; because that is what it is. Your are making love with someone and getting as close to them as possible.

I know this is an awkward topic for most parents to talk about, but i wish my parents would have told me more. I found out most of the things i knew as a teenager from school.... definitely not the best place to hear that kind of information.

I am lucky enough to have older siblings and as they've gotten married they have explained many things and my Brother- in Law has been willing to talk about it. But i feel like when your parents don't it makes you feel like it is not okay, when in reality it is perfectly okay.

as the next generation i hope to be able to talk to my kids about sex so that they hear this information from a valid source, and when they have questions they will be able to and feel comfortable approaching me about them.

Marital Transitions.. can we make the change?

The week of Halloween we talked about transitioning into marriage.. This is something that i don't have direct experience in but i have seen many times.

My oldest sister got married when i was 5 years old, so from an early age i saw her married and i thought everything was good with her, but i soon would find out i was naive to think that adjustment would be easy.

I had always assumed that hey, you love each other everything will work out perfectly; but i've learned that things are not as they seem

There are SO many things that you have to adjust too. For me personally, i have three sisters... i will have to live with a boy. Who may not always put the toilet seat down and he may be dirty that will take time to adjust too.

I also think you have to adjust to being with someone of the opposite gender all the time and all of the boundaries that all the sudden break. This will take lots of talking and communicating to work through.

I took a marriage class last semester and we talked about the fact that the first year of marriage is the hardest. There are so many things that change and that you have to work through. When i first heard that i thought they were kidding, what about the honeymoon stage? Doesn't that last?

It makes sense though, you can do all you want to prepare yourself for marriage and for those changes but i feel like until you are in the situation and doing it, you can't ever be fully prepared.

One thing that i thought a lot about this week is the splitting of holidays and how our different family dynamics will apply in our new lives. There are so many traditions and things in my family that i would never want to get rid of and i think it would be hard for me to miss certain holidays with my family. But then i realized; if you truly love someone would you not do everything for them? Of course you would.
A little sacrifice here and there is what makes marriage work.

I know transitioning into marriage will not be easy but i know it will be worth it.