I have always been the type who loves families. My family has always been the most important thing to me. I live for the memories and the moments that we share; but up until recently i couldn't imagine a family of my own.
I have noticed myself lately becoming more and more aware of the children and families around me. Everytime i see a kid i can't help but freak out. I am the happiest i have ever felt in my life and i feel like i am ready for a family.
Growing up in the Mormon culture i never wanted to be one of "those people" that married young. But my mind has been changed. Maybe because i have the perfect guy ;) or because i now feel those yearnings.
I can see myself being a Wife and Mother and that doesn't scare me anymore; it excites me.
Recently i realized that i am in the wrong place. I am not in the right field of schooling and i will be heading home at the end of next month. This decision was hard and scary but i know it is the right one. I haven't been happy in that area for awhile; but now in my personal life i am the happiest i have ever been. Maybe because i am in the best relationship i have ever had, with my best friend.
But at the same time at any time this could all come crashing down and i may not be anywhere near wifehood or motherhood and that is okay; but i now know that i can do it and i am ready.
I used to have one big fear that i would get my heart broken again. ( The first one was awful) But with this one it was a risk i was willing to take and i don't regret it for a second.
If how happy i am now is even a little bit of what my future will be like; i never want to complain again. Love is an interesting thing. I am ridiculously and unreasonably happy ALL the time. I find beauty in things i normally wouldn't. It truly does change your life.
At the end of the day i am proud of myself for how much i have grown. I am 20 years old. Still young; but i feel prepared for what the future has in store for me.
To anyone unsure that they will ever find love again, or if you are lonely. I promise you it will all work out how it is supposed to. Be patient and work on yourself; It will all be okay. <3
